May 14, 2018

Tea Planet

It was a regular Saturday evening in Winter for Rosie. She was sat in her floral high back chair by the open fire, with Bernie, her trusty Daschund companion of 10 years, curled up on the floor by her side. She glanced up from her crossword puzzle to the picture of her late husband that took central position on the mantelpiece. How she missed his irresistible charm. Still, she tried to enjoy retirement the best she could.

She moved her glance towards the wall clock that hung above the fireplace. “I think I’ll put the kettle on Bernie, and then we’ll put some television on, how does that sound?” Bernie wagged his tail in excitement as she carefully raised herself from her chair and made her way to the kitchen.

The house was cold and dark. Certain elements of retirement didn’t come easy - energy saving being one of them. She filled the kettle half full, clicked it on and reached for the doggie treats. As she did so, she could here Bernie barking in the hallway. Suddenly a bright white light lit the kitchen up as it beamed through the front windows. “Who could that be I wonder?” Rosie muttered to herself. “Oh, I bet that's our Gareth again, I keep telling him to turn his headlights off when he pulls up in my driveway.” She tied her dressing gown up and made her way to the front door. As she opened it, a strong cold wind suddenly blew in as Bernie ran out to investigate.

“Gareth dear, what do I keep telling you about..” At that moment, she realised it wasn’t Gareth. His car wasn’t in the driveway. She put her hands into her dressing gown pockets and retrieved her spectacles. As she put them on, she looked up and noticed the brilliant white light was beaming down from a floating, disc shaped object. It emanated a loud, dull, humming sound as it spun gently in the sky. “Oh dear, this won’t do.” Suddenly, another beam of light, this time a thin orange coloured one, shone directly over Rosie. With a flash, her molecules dispersed and travelled upwards towards the spacecraft. It then sped away at lightning speed into space, leaving Bernie behind, barking on the front lawn.

On board the Gallax Z3 Interstellar Traveller, Rosie's molecules regrouped in the middle of a vast, oval shaped room. She looked around the blue, dimly lit area to see nothing but smooth, metallic walls. She could feel a deep vibration inside her body, created by the low humming sound she had from outside. “Oh dear,” she muttered, “I feel rather queer.”

“SILENCE!” A booming voice thundered around the open space. In front of Rosie sat three heavily armoured figures upon huge, gold coloured, square shaped thrones. She noticed that they all had large, bulging eyes with green scaly skin. They reminded her somewhat of chameleons, except their noses and mouths resembled a more human form. The middle creature held a tall, shimmering spear with his long, pointy fingers, of which there were eight on each hand.

“Well I never. In all my life I…” Before Rosie could finish, the creature slammed the end of his spear against the metal floor. She cleared her throat. “Can I help you gentlemen?”

“We are the Ergolites, from the Planet Ergexo. We have been studying your planet for some time now and…”

“I’m sorry love, your going to have to speak up, my hearing isn’t what it used to be. Your accent is very difficult to understand. Do you have to gargle while you talk?”

“Quiet!” The voice boomed once more. “You planet intrigues us. Who is in charge?”

“In charge? Christ knows dear, we seem to be voting a new one of those every year these days.”

The creatures glanced at each other briefly before the middle one spoke again. “Our planet requires energy. Our people are dying. We seek new planets that will fulfil our energy needs and your planet suits our requirements! We demand you give it to us, or we will take it by force!” He clenched a fist with his other hand, as if to crush something inside.

“Oh I don’t know about that dear,” Rosie replied as she pushed her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose, “I have enough trouble with energy as it is. Don’t get me started on Scottish Power! Perhaps try turning the lights off in the rooms that you’re not using?” The creatures gave confused glances at each other. “Oh, and,” Rosie said raising her finger, “try turning the thermostat down. Gareth is always telling me off for that one. Twenty degrees should be about right.”

After a few minutes of quiet discussion, the middle creature spoke once again. “No, we hadn’t thought of either of those, thank you for the suggestions. But unless you can make a suitable offer, we will still take your planet by force!”

Rosie scratched her head while she thought of a response that would save humanity from certain annihilation. “How about a nice cup of tea?”


“Yes, tea! There is no problem that can’t be fixed over a nice cup of tea.” After more muffled communication between the creatures, they shrugged their shoulders and turned to face her. “We accept your offer of this ‘cup of tea’, but heed our warning - do not disappoint us! Computer! Beam us down.” An orange light flooded the room. “Oh, remind us of your address please?”

“Number Fifty Seven Mulberry Drive, dear.”

Half an hour passed and Rosie and her guests King Roxo of the Ergolites, Tachyon Tao of the Ergolite Surpreme Army and Carabon, Advisor to the King, were sat around her kitchen table enjoying a freshly brewed pot of tea as she chattered away with stories of her husband and times gone by. “‘Ooh’, I said, ‘Harold, we can’t do that here - we’ll get caught! Ooh he was naughty sometimes.’”

“Mmm, this tea,” King Roxo said delightfully, “this tea is delicious!”

“Oh yes it is! Lovely with a spot of milk, and a teaspoon of sugar if you have a bit of a sweet tooth.” She placed a small round china plate of biscuits on the table. As she did so, Bernie jumped up onto Carabons lap and started to lick his face. “Oh! Looks like you have a new friend there, Carabon!” Rosie and her guests all erupted into laughter.

“Well, that settles it then. This Tea Planet is wonderful! We shall not invade it! However, we make one more demand!”

“What is that my dear?”

“Can we take some tea with us please?”

“Certainly gents, here.” She smiled as she reached for an unopened box of PG Tips. “Take this. But please promise me you’ll visit me again? I get so lonely here.”

“We will do that Rosie,” Tachyon Tao replied in his deep, growling voice, “but until then, we must leave. Computer!”

With that, an orange beam of light appeared, and her intergalactic guests were gone.

© 2018 MattyRasker

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram